after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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