"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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