I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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