did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
