You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
