we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
