Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
