his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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