bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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