We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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