he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high