K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.