there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.