physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
