Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
