that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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