I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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