i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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