Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
