4 words: hood of his car
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
