I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
