you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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