thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
