I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize