I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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