So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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