please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
