I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
