You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How does one acquire holy water?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
