Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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