It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
