I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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