There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
