I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
