I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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