lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
