Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
