note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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