So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
either way he was missing a nipple.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Randomize
