Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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