Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
