sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
