from now on my penis is your penis
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
