and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
