I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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