this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
