Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
