she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
