Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
