he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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