belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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