I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
