I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
