i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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