so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
