dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
