i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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