So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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