this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
