Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
